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Better Off With You

Senior Contributor

I Valued Him

I am a survivor of suicide - I have lost my son and my cousin to suicide and I think neither of them had any real conception of how other people loved them and how valued they were

 

No doubt they were in a lot of pain - and this I do understand - when I think of my son I think that he was really at the end of his tether and maybe there was no other choice for him

 

But I was devastated - I learned after he died that there can sometimes be one family member that will take on the whole grief load for the family - when I was told this I was confused but through the years I have learned a great deal and yes - I did this and maybe this was one reason my son died - the rest of the family didn't understand Mental Illness and they didn't know the details of the distressed life he lived and didn't want to hear anything like that - they didn't want to know 

 

But I did - and alone I did my best for him - I stuck with him until the end - and my minister told me that our community couldn't help - now I know that it takes a village

 

In my son's case a city wasn't enough

 

But the truth was - he was never a burden to me. I loved him and cared about him and to this day I still do - it was unbelievably painful for a long time

 

About my cousin - I really don't know but I do know how terrible it was for his parents. They were there for me when my son died and I was there for them when their son died

 

And they were both loved - they were not a burden - and this is still true

 

Dec

 

 

8 REPLIES 8
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Re: I Valued Him

@Dec  DecHeartxxxx

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Re: I Valued Him

Warm wishes @Dec  xx

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Re: I Valued Him

@Dec  I was thinking early today about the strength of love. How it crosses forbidden territory. 

Colour, money, power,fame.

Reading your post I realised even death does not break that strength. It’s not something easily put into words, it’s felt, deeply felt, and forever. And it’s a gift I think.

Sending some love to you tonight @Dec ❤️❤️❤️

 

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Re: I Valued Him

Love and hugs @Dec ❤️❤️❤️

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Re: I Valued Him

@BlueBay @Maggie @eth @greenpea 

 

Thanks so much for your support - and yes Maggie - love does have a greater power than death and it's pretty mystical - I had not really thought of that myself in those terms at least - but it's true

 

And - everyone I know - irl or on-line - is valuable to me

 

Dec

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Re: I Valued Him

@Dec  oh sweetie.... words fail me xxxHeart

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Re: I Valued Him

@Dec  💙💙💙

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Re: I Valued Him

thinking of you @Dec Heart

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