A suicide prevention intitiative
17-01-2020 03:34 PM - edited 17-01-2020 03:35 PM
Hey all. Whilst it can feel a bit heavy to share our journey of burden whilst we manage our mental health, I think it's still a super important conversation to have.
There's potential that if we break down some of the thoughts we hold around what makes us "feel like a burden" to those in our lives, that we may be able to re-frame some of those views and have a little more clarity on the overall picture.
For some, feeling like a burden might be having a really severe episode and upsetting a loved one. For others it is withdrawing and feeling as though we're not showing up for our friends, family or colleagues.
What does it mean to you? What are some ways you have been able to challenge this perception of burden? In those moments, what kind of things have helped or could help to shift out of that? Has a friend said something that really resonated once? Have you done an activity that has helped break that cycle of thinking?
18-01-2020 08:00 AM
18-01-2020 12:40 PM
Very tough question @nashy
I have had lots of similar thoughts and feelings as @CheerBear - described a hard thing very well.
Times when I feel like this not a lot helps. When the feeling shifts a bit then I can refelct. I try and focus on the give and take nature of life, and how everyone experiences being dependent on others at times. 'Feeling like a burden' is very heavy but Interdependence is part of being human.
Feeling like I've let people down is pretty crushing and I don't have any answers on that one.
18-01-2020 01:17 PM
This is a challenging thing to think about isn't it - but what both of you @frog @CheerBear have shared is really helpful in itself to face that this is sometimes just a hard thing that we have to sit with. And wait until it passes.
Sitting in the discomfort of these thoughts can be the biggest challenge and sometimes not much helps it but using all the strength you can to stay as present in possible, and keep faith that it can and will shift in time. Its inspiring to know that you have both been able to shift past those times. I like the flag around connecting with others that 'get it' and just listen too. Very powerful to remember that - also for others supporting you when they aren't sure what to do. Listening without judgement is a big one I think?
20-01-2020 09:59 AM
Thanks so much for writing that up @CheerBear especially as no doubt it has churned some heaviness up. We really appreciate you sharing your story I relate to "Sitting in the silence". Sometimes there's a message in the silence, even just allowing yourself to be human and truly integrating the notion that we are all worthy - no matter our struggles, we all have a place here Thank you @CheerBear
20-01-2020 10:01 AM
@frog I guess a part of being human, and the human-ness you refer to - is letting people down. It's an inevitable part of life as imperfect humans, even those without complex mental health will let down loved ones at some point. It can be a catch 22 as sometimes the mental health issues can result in us being a bit harder on ourselves too. Thank you for sharing this @frog, it is true that interdependence is part of being human - what a brilliant point!
20-01-2020 10:02 AM
Hey @Shaz51 thanks for sharing, I am sorry to hear the physical problems have you feeling that way from time to time. We're all here to listen if you ever need
20-01-2020 10:44 AM
This jumps out so much for me. Struggling with the challenge part of this topic and reframing aspect. Have never had such a long period of time where everything seems so hopeless or like such a burden. I don't have family but I am a single mum. It's so hard balancing what you know your children need and not being able to fix yourself for them to not be a burden. Have had increasing issues at work and the boss has said it would be better for me and the type of work I need to be able to do to relocate. My absence and difficulties is a burden on them. My only current support who is an OT in public health walked out on our appt two weeks ago when I saw her and became shutdown and frozen. Saying that she wasn't wasrting her time with someone who wasnt communicabatim(verbatim). Hence feeling like a burden to my support. My gp is away but the receptionist constantly tells me to watch the time and remember appt lengths when I book an appt. I've stopped booking unless needed for work certificates and find myself more anxious than ever to try to speak when there. So feeling like a burden there too. I guess I can reframe some of this by saying its systems that are stretched beyond capacity. That it is not "just me" probably. But adds to the hopelessness in other ways. Telling myself I'm doing "the best I can" feels like an excuse or a way off saying. Letting my kids down is somehow ok/acceptable. But at the same time is all I can do.
20-01-2020 11:50 AM
This thread is a little close to home and has been for a few years. I wanted to put my big girl pants on though and share for others who may be going through similar. I think feeling like a burden is possibly one of the hardest and heaviest feelings. I think maybe it is wrapped up in shame as well.
I still struggle very much with the feeling like I am being a burden to those I love and the truth is that I do impact their lives. Financially and often practically (needing help to do some things) I am a 'burden' to them. I've had sessions recently with my psych talking about this. For me I often think they would all be 'better off without me'. My psych and others keep telling me if I asked them all they'd all say they would be better off with me here.
I'm still working through much of this. I guess for me one of the things that helps those feelings lessen is when I can do something for them or someone else (pay it forward type thing) that I feel like I'm giving back a bit. In my mind finding something that helps make you feel like you have some value helps lessen the burden feelings as well.
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